I don’t want to hold back about the things I write because this is the only way I could stay sane, but at the same time I don’t want to ruin whatever kind of relationship I have with my parents and siblings, so I made them read the final draft before posting it. They seem to agree with what I wrote.
It never felt like we’re a family. I feel like, my siblings are just a bunch of close dormmates while my parents are dorm managers that collect dorm fees once a month.
I guess it’s because my maternal grandparents were the ones who raised us, that’s why it doesn’t really bother me with the kind of set-up I have with my family right now.
But what really disturbed me the most is the kind of relationship my parents have. It’s the most unusual thing, I swear.
I don’t want to get into detail about it, but if I were to label the relationship they have, I’d say college roommates.
There’s a mix-up in their year level though. The other one is a senior while the other one is a freshman. I’m just not going to point out which is which.
It really impresses me how the “senior” manages to stick with “freshman”. This freshman is super into having tons of fun but doesn’t think about the long-term consequences of those actions (e.g. stealing money, drinking irresponsibly).
I don’t understand how.
Senior person just told me that understanding freshman is one of the skills acquired over 30 years of marriage.
WTF. I can’t do that. Seriously?
I’m in a crisis right now, whether or not if marriage is something meant for me. I know, it might be a little early thinking about this, but I love planning my future. Even though I could die any moment now, it’s better to plan ahead just in case I wake up tomorrow.
Maybe one day, I’ll wake up next to someone I’m committed to for life. Huh. Weird picture. I see a person with no face. I’ll think about it.